How to Make a Pipe In a Pinch
James Bond, Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, MacGyver. What’s the common thread that links all of these beasts? Epic improvisation.
With nothing but 2 toothpicks, a pack of silly putty, 9 marbles and a TV remote, any one of these guys could dismantle a foreign nuclear program. Nothing says panty-dropper quite like David defeating Goliath with whatever happens to be lying around at the time.
And that’s why today we’re covering all the greatest ways to make a pipe in a pinch.
Old Faithful - Produce & Aluminum Foil
- 1 Fresh Fruit or Vegetable
- Aluminum Foil
- 2 Toothpicks
- Narrow-bladed knife
Step 1: Determine which side of the fruit or veggie will be the mouthpiece and the bowl
Step 2: Cut a bowl-shaped incision in one end
Step 3: Turn the piece 90 degrees, then push the blade straight in 3 times, forming a triangle
Step 4: Using the toothpicks and/or the knife, extract the triangular shaped wedge
Step 5: Make sure the bowl and air channel connect
Step 6: Tear a piece of aluminum foil to line the bowl
Step 7: Poke tiny holes in the bottom of the aluminum foil
The Pen Pipe is Mighter than the Sword
- 1 pen with metal tip and plastic barrel
Step 1: Disassemble pen
Step 2: Insert metal tip into plastic barrel
Step 3: Tap with hammer until secure
Toke the Rainbow - DIY Starburst Pipe
- ½ pack of Starburst candies
- 1 pen, pencil, or skewer
- Microwave or bodyheat
Step 1: Unwrap the Starburst candies
Step 2: Stack all but one of them and press together
Step 3: Press the last one sideways onto one end
Step 4: Microwave for 3 seconds at a time until malleable
Step 5: Create bowl indention into the sideways Starburst
Step 6: Push pen into long side until it reaches bottom of indention
Step 7: Connect bowl to air channel with as small a hole as possible
Taste the rainblow!
Homemade TP Roll Steamroller
- Toilet paper roll core
- Aluminum foil
- Pen or pencil
Step 1: Puncture one end of the TP roll with the pen or pencil
Step 2: Form a cone with a small section of aluminum foil
Step 3: Twist or pinch the bottom of the cone until it will fit in the hole
Step 4: Pull from bottom of aluminum foil until secure
Step 5: Cover the end of the roll with your hand
Light that $#!t!
The Soda-can Pipe
> 1 full canned drink
Step 1: Turn can upside down (carefully)
Step 2: Place can over sink or somewhere outside
Step 3: Press tip of knife into can sidewall, near what is now the bottom (Mouth hole)
Step 4: Gently push tip of knife into wherever you want the rush hole
Step 5: Allow contents to drain fully
Step 6: Make small slits in bottom (now the top) of the can (Bowl)
Step 7: Rinse if you have a water source nearby
Spark that soda!
And there you have it, a few of the simpler ways to make a pipe from simple household objects. Hopefully you won’t ever have to actually smoke from one of these horrendous contraptions, but if you do, at least now you’re prepared for the ordeal.
In the meantime, check out some pipes you’ll actually enjoy smoking out of.